• If only I could tell you

    by  • August 16, 2010 • Friends, Hope, Interested?, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    Dear friend,

    This has been going on for far too long.. If only I could tell you how I really feel. I would tell you if I knew you weren’t going to run away like you have in the past.

    I’ve loved you since I was 16.. From the very first second I saw you. I never believed in love at first sight, I thought it was a stupid exaggerated concept. That is I used to until I met you.

    It’s impossible not to love you. You are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.. You have the personality, the looks, the ambition and the kind heart that I’ve always wanted in a man. How could I not love you when we get along so well and you appeal to me so much at the same time?

    Even when we weren’t talking for a couple years, I still thought of you. I used to dream of you while sleeping next to my fiancé at night. If you want to know the real reason we broke up, it’s because I knew I would never love him the way I love you. That wouldn’t be fair to anyone to go on that way.

    I know you’re searching for someone to touch your soul.. And that right now things are complicated for you.. I just want you to know that I’m patiently waiting for you.. I could set your soul on fire if only you would give me the chance.

    The thing I don’t understand though my dearest friend is why you will sleep with me yet not pursue a relationship with me.. . It tears me up inside that you can do that to me… Especially after what happened on the past. What you are doing is giving me hope whether that is your intention or not…

    If you want to just be friends then don’t lead me on for the love of god! Tell me we’ll never be together and get it over with! I can be your friend if that is what you want.. I can accept that.. Just tell me what you want!! I know you’re hurt and confused right now but you have to think of what you’re doing to me as well! Your confusion is confusing me!!

    The sad part is that I hated it when we weren’t talking and I knew it was my fault.. I changed my life around and you know it.. You’ve even noticed.. I am who you want.. What you describe as your perfect mate… I didn’t change for your benefit but I want you to see it and realize that I am what you want!

    Like I said, I am patiently waiting till you see me. I just want you to know that I love you for everything you are. I even love your flaws.. And you should know that I’ll always be there for you like I always have been. I hate seeing you suffer more than I hate my own suffering.. You know already that I’m your safe place – almost as familiar to you as home is. I want you to be happy no matter what… Even if you’ll never love me the way I love you, I want you to find your love. You have my heart and I don’t want it back. I’d rather give my heart to you and feel this kind of love than be with someone else and never feel it this strongly. You are my motivation to do well in life.. And not because you want me to but because I admire you for doing so well for yourself. A million times I love you.

    Just thought you should know, or not know,

    The girl who has loved you for 6 long years.

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