I don’t know why I’m writing this. I guess it’s cause part of me wants to let go and another part of me wants this to reach out to you in some way. I can’t stop thinking about you.. there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wonder what you are doing, thinking, or if I cross your mind at all. It kills me hearing you talk about the girl you can’t get out of your head. I only wish that girl was me. I don’t know how you got me to fall for you but it happened. I guess it just happened at different times for us because I know that you had a thing for me at one point.. I just wish you would’ve done something about it. Or maybe that I would’ve.
Sometimes I believe I am over you but the truth is that I will unexpectedly break down and cry because I miss your words and the way you used to be with me. I sit and wonder what happened between us and what we did wrong.. or if we did nothing wrong and we just weren’t meant to be. But then why am I up at night thinking about you months after this? I can’t figure it out. At this point I just want to forget you because it is killing me inside. I don’t want to hurt anymore.
I think about just ignoring your calls but then I think that you need me as a friend.. maybe someday you will realize that I was there for you and perhaps.. change? A silly wish. But it keeps me going. I know I will probably never have you.. and if this does get to you I hope to God you don’t think of me as something awful.. I just fell in love with you. I do hope you are happy in everything you do and I only wish you the good things in life.