There’s so much I’d like to talk to you about today. I want to tell you how I’ll bring back Nessie’s head on a plaque once I’ve been to Loch Ness. I also want to tell you how much I’ll miss you while I’m overseas in Scotland next semester, and how much this trip is turning out to mean to me. I feel like this is going to be a huge self discovery for me. I’m leaving because of you, and not in a spiteful way either, but memories of us in this city are overwhelming me for the moment. And in order for me to deal with this I need to leave this place, and that’s not a bad thing necessarily. I appreciate this opportunity to go find myself in the lands of my great grandparents.
And I want to tell you all this.
I wanted to joke with you about the vague question on my sister’s health form asking if she’s “gone through the change” or not. I want to tell you about the adorable little boy in the clinic whose grandfather picks up by one arm, under the arm pit when he gets too far away, and how the little boy is just pleased as a peach to be carried like that.
It’s the small things I want to talk to you about that torture me the most. The small things in life that make everyday a different experience. But really, most importantly I’d like to apologize. For how I acted last night, for bringing up things that were not necessary, for ruining your already bad night. And secondly, for not telling you any of this to your face. I told myself I wouldn’t talk to you again until school starts, so you can have some space. But as soon as I feel like I can, I will call you and apologize. For everything that’s ever happened, and I’ll tell you one last time that I love you. And hopefully we can finally be friends after that. At this point, I’d like nothing better than to have my best friend back. I love you so much, and I really hope you feel better and happier about life.
P.S. I’m making Cactus a brother. If we ever get back together, I’m planning on giving him to you.