• Never thought it could be like this

    by  • August 11, 2010 • Divorce, Gratitude, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Marriage, The Ex • 0 Comments

    Dearest first husband,

    When you told me that you have been unhappy for years, I felt like my life was ending. Everything that I knew was taken from me that Thursday evening in July. You said that everything you did was for me, and that you lost yourself because of this. You hadn’t been yourself. I admit that our marriage was sub par. You were my friend, and I loved you for that, but so much was missing. So I had a choice, roll over and crawl into a hole, or make my life something that I want it to be. I chose the 2nd. You did not. After a few months, you realized the mistake you made, but it was too late. I filed for divorce. You kept begging. But the trust was gone, and I had a vision of a life that I could build for myself, and you were not a part of that.

    A year and a half later, the divorce was finalized, and I met him. This is the man that I will grow old with, who will communicate with me, who will always see me with the beauty that I possess today, even as an old woman. I never knew that this is what it could be like. This love is what writes poetry, and composes music. This love is what I dreamt about, even when you and I were together.

    I am sorry that your life has gotten worse. I am sorry that you were hurt. I am sorry that you have struggled with women, and money, and alcohol. I am sorry that you have lost yourself, even more since we separated. I am just so sorry. I wish you nothing but love, and warmth, and happiness. I know you will find it, when you find yourself, unapologetically. And I thank you, from deep in my heart, for leaving me. For the happiness that I have in my life now was not possible when we were together.

    Your ex wife.

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