I do not like him.
We have been best friends for years, and I have watched and supported you through all your less than successful attempts with men. When you told me that you had finally found an actual “Boyfriend” who you loved and thought you could see a serious relationship with, I was so happy for you, you had waited long enough and it was about time you got someone.
Problem is, I just cant make my self like him.
I know friends hear more of the bad stuff than the good. That’s our job, to listen to the everyday relationship moans and groans and be supportive, but that’s all I hear. The things he does wrong that make you so hurt so angry and so upset, you seem to forgive him for within the day. I can’t forgive him for the way he makes you feel sometimes.
Its happens more than it should and some how, he always convinces you that he needs to make you apologise and grovel to him, when he’s been so cruel to you.
You’ve called me in tears about things he’s done, or tried to force you to do, but you forget them all so quickly. I remember them all and I hate him for what he has done to you.
My passionate femminist friend who I never fought would let a guy push her about, now seems to think she has to be the good little wifey, picking up after him and cooking his every meal.
When I spend time with you and him, he gives me the cold shoulder, and then tells you off later for making him feel left out and spending your time with me not him.
Perhaps it’s me being over dramamtic but the way you are with him, makes me believe that if one day he were to physically hurt you you would forgive him and still stay. It seems unlikely that he would hurt you that way, but much more believable is that he will manipulate you and control you other ways.
I feel so trapped. I can’t tell you how much I hate him. You wouldn’t understand it. You have forgiven him for hurting you, so you will not understand why I can’t. All I can do is be there with a bottle of wine when you want to have a moan about him, and try and prevent you from trying to justify his behaviour till you convince your self you are in the wrong. I will wait patiently for how ever long it takes for you to realise he is a spiteful man who you would be better off with out.
However to the boyfriend i say this. I will not wait forever. If you ever really hurt her, I will make sure everyone knows, I will tell her exactly what I think of you, and urge her to leave you. I might lose her over it, but I can only wait so long for her to realise what a spiteful manipulative person you are.