Why do you treat me the way you do? Why, when you know how much I love you and how much I’ve given you. Why am I constantly cast to the side over trivial things like video games and sitting around with your asshole of a best friend? Why won’t you love me like I love you?
I hate that we are so young and I am going off to college while you stay home and drink yourself happy. Why am I not enough to make you happy? The past year and a half I have tried so hard to make you appreciate me. I almost feel as if the only reason I’m still putting up with your bullshit is because I want to win for once. I want to finally prove to you and the world that you have no compassionate bone in your body. I want you to change so badly. I thought you had when we got back together. You were so different and we were so happy. Everyone could see that this time it was for real. Now, it’s all happening again.
Why is alcohol and company with non permanent friends more appealing than spending a night with me? I’ve asked you so many times to spend the last few weeks I have left with me. Not every day, but I hardly think I’m asking much.
I could have done so much better than this but I loved you and I thought you were different. I just can’t find it in myself to do anything about it. So I’ll keep sitting outside on the nights you chose to go out without me, when all my friends have gone home, and I’ll just cry. I’ll cry until I can’t anymore. Until my head is throbbing with pain. It’s alright though. I can hardly feel it anymore.