I have three weeks left in this relationship, and it’s killing me every time I say I love you. It feels like the last. I wonder if you’ve noticed that I hug you or kiss you or taste you it’s a little tighter, more enthusiastic. I want to taste you in a few months when I’m cold and alone and you don’t think of me anymore. You say you don’t want to be friends but I call your bluff, you need me. I need you to need me, and to pet your hair and smell your breath in the morning when you wake up and you’re groggy and sweet and love to hold me close. I need you to need me to rub your temples and scratch your back for you and tell you that no, you can’t stay in the goddamned house all day and play video games because you’ll rot your beautiful mind. I guess most of all I need you though, to love me like you do now even when I’m miles away and living by myself. I feel like you’re fading away already, too early for me and too early for us. I need you to say I’m beautiful one more time because you know I don’t believe it unless you say so. I told myself it was just for fun.
I told you that.