• Lost, Frendship, love, hate

    by  • August 10, 2010 • Friends, Frustration, Gratitude, Grief, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    I’m not sure how to say the things I feel. even now I catch myself thinking about what to say next. I find myself thinking about what it is that you want to hear, but I never know. I’m not sure how to tell my friend that he’s a cheating dirt-bag and needs to just live with that fact. And I hate to get stared on my love life or lack there of, but it’s the biggest source of confusion that is marking up my life. I’ve been talking to some girl on the internet and she’s cute, I love her as a friend, but I know that she is head over heels for me. I know that I can’t return those feelings, but I’m scared to tell her this because I don’t want to hurt her. God forbid I’m even presented with any opportunity someone cute and nearer to me then the internet girl. I always pussy out when it comes to people, especially when it comes to people that I like. I know where to start to when getting to know someone you find common ground, but what am I supposed to ask, ‘Hey do you read comics?’, ‘Should I feel alone in my love of Deadpool?’ Or I could chatter like a monkey about some other dorky thing that I’ve taken to for the time. Negating my problems with even starting a conversation, I can never keep them going. I always feel like I’m saying the wrong thing and I start to think too hard about what I should say next. I’m even do it now. I never really felt that way with you, the only reason that I never gave you an answer was that it was inappropriate for the situation in which case ‘I’ll tell you later.’ really did come back up later. I just miss that feeling of trust and I guess I’m going to be looking for that for a little while longer so thanks for putting me on some sort of path… But know that I feel like I should rip out your FUCKING heart and feed it to the DOGS for what you did to me. For that much I can never forgive you, but know that I will always love you for what you gave me.

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