You were crazy about me. For weeks you chased me, and I didn’t even know. But one day, you had the audacity to speak up, and say you loved a man everyone else said was unlovable. And so I came to love you with all my heart. I promised myself that come hell or high water, the only thing definite in this world was my word. I promised that I’d never lie to you so when I said “I love you” you would always know it.
Everyone thought we were the perfect couple. Hell! I thought we were the perfect couple. And we were, for a time. For months, I felt bliss like I’ve never felt before. But it destroyed me, seeing you fade away. I told you I loved you. You glanced away and said I love you too. You said you didn’t deserve me, that I was too nice, too perfect. I was flattered. But something changed. All of a sudden, I couldn’t even touch you without you drawing away. You wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, you said you needed space. So I gave it to you; I always gave you anything you asked for. Until one day, out of the blue, it was over. You broke up with me and told me you “Just didn’t love me anymore.” But that wasn’t it. You told me I was to good for you. This time, you meant it when you said you didn’t deserve me. You wouldn’t listen when I told you otherwise.
When you broke up with me, all I could say was “I never lied to you,” over and over. I must have looked like a fool, blubbering like that. But it was true. I never wronged you once and that’s why you left. I never hung up the phone on you. I refused to fight with you. The only time I considered breaking up with you was when you demanded that I be mean to you, for once. I told you hell no.
I said you were the only person that deserved me. Why else would I want to be with you? But you told me I shouldn’t. I overlooked all your flaws, your issues with drugs and jealousy and I accepted you. But you told me I shouldn’t. In the end, I remember you telling me, that although you hadn’t a moral fiber in your being, you insisted that us being together just “wasn’t right.” Loving you was a crime you just couldn’t see me commit. I was too good, you said, too perfect.
I promised myself I would be the perfect boyfriend for you, because your ex’s treated you horribly. I remember how you got those scars and I promised that you would never be hurt again. So you dumped me.
Can you not see how sick and twisted this is? Cursed by my own morality? I was the only person who had any right to break up. I did nothing wrong! You have no idea how much this hurts. I could understand if you cheated on me, I could understand if you just didn’t love me. But whenever I said “I love you” all I got was an “I’m sorry.” I swear I heard “I’m sorry” more than any other word. I asked you why and said I wouldn’t understand. You were sorry about nothing in particular, apparently. But I see the truth:
You said “I’m sorry” because when I offered you love, all you felt is guilt! Nothing could stab a deeper wound.
And now you’re with your ex again. The very same one that hurt you before. And you think you’re right for each other. And all I can do is sit here, hoping that you’re actually happy now. Though I loved you, you were never happy when we were together, I know why now.
People always told me that I was incapable of love. But I was, and I am. But never again. You were the one for me.
I told you that my love for you was everlasting. I never lied to you.