• It’s not supposed to work like that…

    by  • August 10, 2010 • Breaking Up, Dating, Frustration, Grief, Lost Love, Love - Pure and Simple, Yearning for You • 11 Comments

    You were crazy about me. For weeks you chased me, and I didn’t even know. But one day, you had the audacity to speak up, and say you loved a man everyone else said was unlovable. And so I came to love you with all my heart. I promised myself that come hell or high water, the only thing definite in this world was my word. I promised that I’d never lie to you so when I said “I love you” you would always know it.

    Everyone thought we were the perfect couple. Hell! I thought we were the perfect couple. And we were, for a time. For months, I felt bliss like I’ve never felt before. But it destroyed me, seeing you fade away. I told you I loved you. You glanced away and said I love you too. You said you didn’t deserve me, that I was too nice, too perfect. I was flattered. But something changed. All of a sudden, I couldn’t even touch you without you drawing away. You wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, you said you needed space. So I gave it to you; I always gave you anything you asked for. Until one day, out of the blue, it was over. You broke up with me and told me you “Just didn’t love me anymore.” But that wasn’t it. You told me I was to good for you. This time, you meant it when you said you didn’t deserve me. You wouldn’t listen when I told you otherwise.

    When you broke up with me, all I could say was “I never lied to you,” over and over. I must have looked like a fool, blubbering like that. But it was true. I never wronged you once and that’s why you left. I never hung up the phone on you. I refused to fight with you. The only time I considered breaking up with you was when you demanded that I be mean to you, for once. I told you hell no.

    I said you were the only person that deserved me. Why else would I want to be with you? But you told me I shouldn’t. I overlooked all your flaws, your issues with drugs and jealousy and I accepted you. But you told me I shouldn’t. In the end, I remember you telling me, that although you hadn’t a moral fiber in your being, you insisted that us being together just “wasn’t right.” Loving you was a crime you just couldn’t see me commit. I was too good, you said, too perfect.

    I promised myself I would be the perfect boyfriend for you, because your ex’s treated you horribly. I remember how you got those scars and I promised that you would never be hurt again. So you dumped me.

    Can you not see how sick and twisted this is? Cursed by my own morality? I was the only person who had any right to break up. I did nothing wrong! You have no idea how much this hurts. I could understand if you cheated on me, I could understand if you just didn’t love me. But whenever I said “I love you” all I got was an “I’m sorry.” I swear I heard “I’m sorry” more than any other word. I asked you why and said I wouldn’t understand. You were sorry about nothing in particular, apparently. But I see the truth:

    You said “I’m sorry” because when I offered you love, all you felt is guilt! Nothing could stab a deeper wound.

    And now you’re with your ex again. The very same one that hurt you before. And you think you’re right for each other. And all I can do is sit here, hoping that you’re actually happy now. Though I loved you, you were never happy when we were together, I know why now.

    People always told me that I was incapable of love. But I was, and I am. But never again. You were the one for me.

    I told you that my love for you was everlasting. I never lied to you.

    11 Responses to It’s not supposed to work like that…

    1. Sarah
      August 10, 2010 at 11:08 pm

      I can feel your sorrow by reading this. I can feel it as if I were the one this happened to.

      Hang in there. You will surely one day find someone who truly deserves what you offer.

      You seem like a really good person.

    2. Justin
      August 11, 2010 at 4:38 am

      I read this with much interest, as it seemed virtually analogous to my own situation. Whilst one can never truly relate to the pain felt by other people, I at-least can recollect what it’s like to be rejected despite deserving everything but.

      My friend, I can only wish you the best. It’s crushing to know that being a better person caused your downfall, but if you can touch hearts on the internet with your compelling outlook, I’m sure you can touch the heart of another woman.

      All the best, buddy.

    3. Caroline
      August 11, 2010 at 5:29 am

      im that girl
      why does that happen?

    4. realist
      August 11, 2010 at 5:40 am

      I know you can’t entirely control who you fall in love with, but COME ON! It hurts when your love isn’t reciprocated, but consider who you are in love with! It’s nice to think that you can be the one to change a person. However, when someone is as lacking in self-esteem as this girl is, then it will only bring both you and her down to be in a relationship with. Always make sure you aren’t the more “normal” or secure one in a relationship. If you are, you’re done!

    5. bob
      August 11, 2010 at 5:42 am

      This letter is simply beautiful. It reminds me of a past relationship.

      best of luck

    6. Key
      August 11, 2010 at 5:59 am

      I read this in the voice of Maurice LaMarche in the style of Orson Welles.

      Think Brain from “Pinky and the Brain”.

    7. Holly
      August 11, 2010 at 6:50 am

      I can really feel everything by reading this. I just stumbled on this while researching and I could not look away. This is very beautiful!

    8. The girl
      August 11, 2010 at 7:09 am

      I think I know exactly what you feel.. it’s like you’re telling my story. Just in the other sex. I never lied to him. – he just said, i’m no good for you. It’s sad, but also true..

    9. Dafydd Davies
      August 11, 2010 at 7:43 am

      Women are nuts, but seems to be that this guy was too nice… imature girls can’t handle nice! they need arguments and mind games and all the other childish crap that comes with it.

      Go find yourself a woman.

    10. Idealist
      August 11, 2010 at 12:23 pm

      I’m…so sorry. Even with the emotion I felt reading this, I know yours must have been a thousand times greater. And I’m sorry for the comments telling you to look elsewhere. They must hurt just as much.

    11. Danny
      August 11, 2010 at 7:51 pm

      Of course that happened. Nice guys can’t attract. The reason? Everyone is out for their own good.(See: Selfish Gene) Women especially can tell when guys are fake. Nice guys are just that, fake.

      Secondly this guy didn’t believe in himself. Always saying “I’m sorry”? He is making everyone believe he’s always doing something wrong. That’s depressing.

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