I was a very insecure junior in high school. I liked you so much, I thought of you constantly. I could see that you were interested in me, but was too unsure of myself to let myself believe it. You asked me to the prom. You were so excited and happy – I could see that. You talked about us dating in the future. You told me you planned to buy a better car so you could take me out “in style”. You even mentioned that who knew? Maybe one day we’d be married. My heart pounded, I was so, so happy you had the same feelings as I did. The mention of sharing our lives together made me giddy. But I couldn’t wrap my head around anyone liking ME that much!
I stupidly asked to go home early, I claimed to be feeling sick. He was crushed, but I was too stupid to see that. How could anyone be hurt by anything I did? To this day – I don’t really know why I did that. When you dropped me off, I went to my room and cried my eyes out.
We never dated. We never shared our lives. You never bought that special car. Our lives went on on seperate paths. You joined the military and met someone else. Before you went through with the marriage, you came back to me. You never directly told me “I want you.”, but you tried. You told me you didn’t know if you really wanted to marry her. I was speechless. I came so close to saying “Don’t, marry me!” But I never did.
You left, you married her, our lives went on. Thirty years later you found me through old friends and the iternet, and we began chatting. You were having issues in your life and marriage, and you discussed them with me. Your wife found out, and you dropped off the face of the earth. Then one day I got a phone call from you, you were telling me how miserable you were, but I could only offer small words of comfort, I could only listen. Your voice crackled and finally dropped away. I had to hang up – and I never heard from you again. I dared not try contact you, as you said your church and wife took away your computer and ordered you to never touch one again. That was five years ago. I am 50 years old, and I can’t stop thinking of you, and what happened to you.
Where are you?
I was so stupid, you were the one for me….