• A letter to Nathan

    by  • August 9, 2010 • Hope, Letting Go, Lost Love, To You • 0 Comments

    I loved you. You were everything. I love you still, but you aren’t everything anymore. I have him. He is perfect. He may be the one I spend the rest of my life with. I love him with everything I have to give. But he is not you. You left me in confusion. Left me numb and with no answers for why we could not be. I cried. I still want to cry, but I don’t let myself anymore. I don’t know why you left me. I don’t think you even knew. We tried to be friends, but it was too hard and I had to walk away. I saw your heart break when I said I couldn’t do it anymore. I saw something in you shatter. But while you healed, I did not. I knew you still loved me, but we could never be. I still think about you. Still long for your kiss. The closer I grow to him does not deter my heart from wanting you. We can never be, and I ache. If I had one wish, I’d travel back 18 months and live in it forever.

    But I cannot, and with this, I must let you go. I had no one to say this to. No one I could trust without fear of sounding crazy, even though I know I’m not alone. Now the world see’s the innermost secrets of my heart. The wounds have been reopened, and now it’s time to heal, no scars this time. I want him to have my whole heart, not share it with someone who left it in ruins. I hope the last bit of attachment to you breaks. I hope I find my happiness without your memory lurking in the shadows.

    My last tears for you have been shed.

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