You make me feel so lonely. You don’t want to have sex anymore like we used to. You don’t touch me like we used to. I don’t feel loved anymore. I keep trying and trying with you, to spark something…anything… I’m tired of crying myself to sleep sometimes. A guy should not feel this way. You are all about the kids and that’s it. You told me you had nothing left to give to me, and now I can’t help but resent you for that. I am thinking of finding someone else who can make me feel wanted again… even a fake feeling of love is better than this. I’m not going to leave you and the kids; I still love you, and I love the kids even more.
I get bad thoughts sometimes, about hurting myself. I want the pain to go away.. or want your attention should I survive. Don’t worry though.. I’m a smart guy and would never do that to you or the kids…but I think about it. Drinking seems to help.. haven’t you noticed I’ve been drinking more?
Time to go to bed now I guess… alone… I’m not alone yet I am alone. I will be crying here in just a few minutes in the dark… Hoping I’m passing out before it ends….