• your lies are forever

    by  • August 3, 2010 • Cheating, Grief, Hatred, Lost Love • 2 Comments

    Hate. I hate so many things. The sad thing is, it used to be just the opposite. I used to love so many things. Now it’s just hate. I hate you. I hate girls. All of them. I see your lies and your let downs in everyone else. I see how much you let me down and I close off. Why did you lie to me? From day one you lied and continued to lie. You kept seeing your ex, kept fucking him. And you lied to me about it. You promised you wouldn’t let me down like so many others before. But your lies had the biggest consequences. You cheated thru our whole relationship, and it was because you thought “you were in love with him”. And he strung you along, like I said he was. And when I caught you, you swore it would stop, but it didn’t. And then you caught something, and gave it to me. And I’m pretty sure you knew, and didn’t tell me. Thanks. Now who will love me? I don’t even love me, I hate me. I hate this thing I’ve become and now I’m afraid I’ll always be alone. I am so ashamed of this I can’t imagine being honest with anyone about it. Why? Because if someone told Me they had it, I wouldn’t want to be with them. Now who is going to care that it was YOUR fault? It wasn’t my fault, but now i have to deal with. I have herpes because of you. And I hate you. And I hate myself for not walking away the first time you let me down, I believed in you. I wanted to believe in you. I now have to deal with your lies for the rest of my life. Thanks.

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    2 Responses to your lies are forever

    1. Same Boat
      August 5, 2010 at 7:35 am

      I experienced an identical situation. Same outcome, too. Branded with the “H” forever. However, today I am in love. I am happy. Things do change for the better. Stay hopeful.


    2. britney
      December 18, 2013 at 10:16 pm

      Aww you shouldnt feel that way. I personally dont know your pain but i have never allowed that kind of label to sway who i date and maybe love. Two of my best girls have herpes. Two of my ex guys i have been told years later ended up having it. Who knows how long they had it or where it came from. Most guys i dated cheated so i guess part of trying to find love is taking a chance you might be hurt or worse get stds.

      Just know that it doesnt define you and its not life or death. You wouldnt believe how many patients ive cared for with their own problems.

      I believe that love is more important than fear and no love. If i fall in love with a guy that had herpes id be the happiest girl alive. Not because i enjoy the thought of taking on their herpes but because i would enjoy being blessed with real love.

      I might not judge like alot of people do. Thats just me. Besides you are not an outcast like you think. You are a victim. If you think about it everybody with an std is a victim. Nobody asks for it. It just is what it is.

      As many times as i have been cheated on its amazing i dont have every damn disease possible. I dont have good luck. Im the girl that dates a douchebag cheater that years later tracks her down and creates make believe crap up to have interaction to any extent.

      Again…its all about confidence. You need to realize how great you are. Flaws and all. Once you do….even the lifeless people that attack you wont affect you.

      Good luck and best wishes.



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