• Where Do We Stand?

    by  • June 29, 2010 • Forgiveness, Friends, To You • 0 Comments

    This is the question that seems to keep coming up in our relationship, or at least what is left of it. The people pleaser who always tries to take over and screw me over came out this past month. Even though you were the one who scarred me deeply, I ended up feeling bad for you. Feeling like I was a bad person for cutting off communication with you for such a “long” time of a few months. I felt like I had some obligation to invite you to watch me graduate. I really did not want to see you or even talk to you, but I decided to let you in this small way. I knew you would want to be there and I felt bad for thinking about not telling you to come.

    Then I got the bright idea to invite you to my party to celebrate graduation. Once again, trying to let you in a small way, but nothing too extreme. I just wanted to see how it would be being around you and having some coversation with you. Turns out that you just had to be immature and continually make comments that made me uncomfortable and want you to leave. It was a huge step for me to even let you back in at all, so the least you could do is be mature about it and take it for what it was worth. I’m sure you were nervous and didn’t know how to handle yourself, but honestly this was pathetic and just inappropriate.

    You said “I hope it is not long before I see you again” but I am not so sure that this will come true after how you acted. I am not sure that you are someone that I can depend on to provide the stability that I desperately need right now. I don’t need someone who is going to cause me trouble and make my life more difficult. I think about how things have been without you for the past five months and from the frustration before you hurt me, I am not inclined to start over with our friendship. At this point, I have not felt a hole in my life left from you. At this point, I am not thinking that the friendship is that important to me. As Beyonce sings, you are not as irreplaceable as you may think.

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