The Seven Habits of a Highly Effective Bitch
- Be Proactive: Want to run a marathon? Start training. Want to eat a gallon of ice cream? Get off your butt and go to the store. Want to kick your boyfriend out? Start throwing his shit in the front lawn (I recommend adding a sign that says FREE STUFF).
- Begin with the end in mind: As in, life is too short. It all has to end sometime – so why get wrapped up in the worry of it all? ENJOY YOUR LIFE.
- Put first things first: YOURSELF. This isn’t a selfish thing – if you take care of “you” first, you will have more energy and patience to be there for others. Or more energy to kick their ASS if necessary.
- Think win/win: There is always an upside to everything. Like, if I tell my coworker to FUCK OFF, I’ll likely get written up… but if I’m lucky, I’ll also get suspended for a week. Instant vacation, anyone??
- Seek first to understand, then to be understood: If you first assess HOW stupid someone is, it will be much easier for you to choose the level you need to dumb down your conversation to for them to understand you.
- Synergize: Surround yourself with like-minded Bitches. No hair pulling ladies…
- Sharpen the saw: I like to think of this as “practice makes perfect”. The more you practice being a Bitch, the more natural it will become, until you finally hit a point when you don’t even have to think about it!
I hope this helps you refocus and be the most effective Bitch possible.