• Where are we going?

    by  • June 22, 2010 • Breaking Up, Confusion, Marriage, Uncategorized • 0 Comments

    Wow, I never knew that our marriage would end up the way it has. I remember when we first met on our blind date. I remember in the beginning how happy you made me feel, and how I could just be myself around you. You never had a bad thing to say to me or about me. Now here we are 6 years later, and we are talking about separation. What happened? I think I know, you turned into a different person. You turned into a mean person, you turned into “that kinda guy”. When I married you, I knew I wasn’t ready to be married, but I thought we could be that perfect couple, with that perfect relationship, because everybody loved you and told me what a wonderful person you were, and in the beginning you were. You were the husband that every woman wanted, and now look at us. I can’t even stand to be around you. Whenever we are together, we can’t even look at each other or ask a simple question without getting into an argument. You say you still ove me, I don’t doubt that you do, but are you still in love with me? I can honestly say that I love you as a person, I am no longer in love with you. When I look at you I have no feelings, no emotions, I am completely numb to you. I try to make myself to feel love for you, but when I look at you and think about it, nothing is there, it’s like you are just another person in my existence. I also think that if you love me the way you say you do, then why do you go to work and talk shit on me to all the people you work with? Why do you go to your parents and talk shit on me to them? You know they don’t like me or my family, so why would you do that? Why do you call me a bitch, to your friends our friends? All this makes me question how true your love is. I believe the only reason I am still with you at this point, is for the money, as terrible as that sounds. I think maybe you should just pack your things and leave for a while. Maybe we will be better friends than husband and wife. I just wish I knew exactly what I could do to make all of this go away, to make it all better. I feel sorry for you. You have turned all your friends away from you because you’re so mean. You cuss people out for no reason at all, then you call my friends and my family and point the finger at me, you say I am always bitchin at you, and always in a bad mood. Well you need to look in the mirror and see what you have done as well. I know this goes both ways, but you have made me a bitter person, you have pushed me away to the point to where I am at no return. I think that if we don’t separate now, we will never be able to fix this or be able to be friends. I secretly wish that maybe we can just separate, then in a few months from now maybe we can start to date all over again, start new. I don’t want a divorce, I just want things to go back to the way they were in the beginning. I wonder though if they ever will. I wonder if we are beyond repair. If we separate and we find that we are happier by ourselves, then we know that we we’re not meant to be married


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