Your children hate you. They may not say it to your face, but they talk about it all the time. That you never want them there, and that you only holler at them to be quiet or make them help watch their younger half-siblings.
You have tried and tried to make their father appear to be the bad
guy, but your efforts have remained fruitless.
Your children are much smarter than you give them credit for. They see how things have changed since your return and how their world was dumped topsy-turvy. And they know it was you.
Don’t be shocked when they turn from you completely at the age of 18. You can change this outcome. If you shut up about their father, and just love them unconditionally. Show them that the divorce isn’t about them by leaving it out of the equation and just being a mother.
Unfortunately, I dont think you can let that go, even though it was 7yrs ago. Which is not just sad for the children, but sad for you.
It is YOU who is responsible for your misery. Accept it and move on with your life and you will find that life still has much to offer.