…and i didn’t know that we’d somehow become complicated until you got back and it happened again. and the thing is i miss you, i miss the friend you who i talk to every day, about anything, comfortably and now i feel like a stranger, an intruder somehow.
and the way that i reacted to news last week made me stop and re-examine how i feel, which i didn’t think was anything at all and i’m still pretending it’s nothing.
it’s a horrible sense of possession, security, consistency that makes me think i want you and i’m trying to shrug it off because i don’t think these are legit feelings for you, but for the idea of you. and still, i have so little to focus on this summer and there you are and i hate myself for even a second of obsession.
i’m glad i’m getting away for awhile and i hope i’ll have things figured out when i get back. in the meantime can we please return to the friendship we only recently started to lose?