• I Know Your Secret

    by  • June 9, 2010 • Betrayal, Family Stuff, Parents • 1 Comment

    This is something that I’ve known about for many years. I’ve learned it gradually. I remember the first time when I was just a little girl and I saw that pin-up poster in your toolbox. I thought you were cheating on Mom. You told me that I wouldn’t understand (I didn’t) and that you only used it to “inspire” your employees. I told Mom about it. She smiled and told me it would be okay, and mentioned how embarrassed you must have been.

    You’re so terrible about leaving your adult things lying about! I’m talking about your mail-order products, your passwords, your websites, your viruses… I started working for you again recently and I found a few other things that made me do research on them. Do I do it because I want proof that you aren’t hiding anything from us? I hope so. Part of me wants to know that you are bi though, so it’ll be easier for me when I come out to you. You can’t kick me out of the house so easily.

    I traced your passwords. I traced your websites. I saw the tights, the nude pictures you have of yourself on your flashdrive. (Boy was that a traumatizing night.) I can’t sit in that chair without remembering some of the awful things that I saw with your posing in front of the camera. One of those websites brought me to a name. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t you. I don’t want you to cheat on my mother. Do you enable her because you are so petrified that she’s going to discover your secret? That you are searching for sexual partners within the state and out of state? I had a haunch you left us to meet other people once. I thought you were so inconsiderate when you left her all by herself when I was at summer camp back in high school.

    How can you be so selfish and cruel? You don’t have many options, but don’t choose the one that involves secrecy and lies! If you don’t love my mother, express that to her. Be fair for once in your life. If you do love her, trust her to love you back: no matter what.

    I’m going to be coming out to you soon. I’m going to come out to Mom first. Then I’m going to come out to you. I respect your gender preference, but I do not condone what you do with it. You give us bisexuals a bad name. I’m very upset with this. All I wanted was a family that would accept me for who I am. Now that I know what this family is actually like, I don’t think I want to have anything to do with you.

    One Response to I Know Your Secret

    1. fruitfly
      June 16, 2010 at 8:12 pm

      I–and most other people on the planet–cannot imagine what you’re going through. But just so you know, some random stranger in the universe read your post and is hoping things turn out all right in your life.

      good luck…sending positive vibes to you from the midwest!

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