You hurt me in the worst way possible and now you want me to not only forgive you but move on and learn to trust you again? I don’t think so! You know what I have been through and it did not cross your mind when you decided to hurt me like that. How could you not protect me from this happening? I shared so much with you and you were the first man in my life that really took an interest in my life and was a positive influence. You were helping me break down all the walls I had put up over the years to protect myself from hurt.
You came along and smashed my walls and then attacked me at my most vulnerable time. I already did not trust men, and you tapped right into that. Unfortunately, you get the pain of past men in my life added to this situation, but you should have known better. I trusted you and you broke that.
You keep asking me to let you in and give you a time line for when I will, but the truth is I have no clue when I will be ready. Relationships are not on a time line, so I have no answer for you, only that I am going to sit with the uncertainty. At times I wonder whether my life is better off without you in it. You were great for awhile, but then started being horrible to be around and then hurt me this bad.
You would not take full responsibilty, so I don’t feel safe around you anymore. I can’t trust that you will not do some thing this bad again because you didn’t even realize how bad it was until I explained it to you for two hours. I don’t people who are going to hurt me like that.
I wonder every day if I should let you back in. I miss you a lot, but that unknown kills me and stops me from acting. I believe that God will reveal the answer to me over time. I appreciate your efforts to show your remorse, but nothing you do will make up my mind. Time is the answer, so you are just going to have to be really patient with me if you truly care that much about me.