how have you been?…ive been broken beaten bruised and raped of all feeling and emotion…i have watched and waited for some inkling of hope in your eyes… but you look like a beaten dog! you look like a horribly battered soul…you know you fucked up! i find myself stuck between you and the rest of my life…its been so long and yet i cant wait for the next second to pass…the past you cant change but does that stop me from rethinking my moves…my choices…what if i would have stayed? what if i would have told you about the baby? what if i told you about it now? would it matter…i know it doesnt but i cant help but thinking…
now i sit here as half a person thinking of anything i can do to make you as miserable as i am…even if i suduced you in some way or you told me what i wanted to hear or professed your undying love and begged for me back…i would do anything i could do to hurt you…to kill your happiness…even in these fantasys ive had id get what i want and toss you aside like you were nothing! like you were me…so i as i sit here tonight and enjoy my life as shrew…i beg for the chance to make you suffer…i love you, forever…keep my heart itll be all you have.
yours for life,