I finally got up the courage to kick you out. It feels fucking fantastic. I’m already looking up how to divorce you, less than two days after.
I have told four people and they have all been glad for me. I feel like shouting it from the rooftops. I AM GETTING A DIVORCE!
I am no longer going to be referred to as your wife, except where it comes after EX. I no longer have to call you every two hours, or in between destinations, or worry about buying white bread because you hate wheat bread. I won’t have pick up after your slovenly ass anymore. You won’t be able to eat my yogurt or use my razor. You’re going to have to get a goddamn JOB so that you can feed yourself.
I can’t believe you screwed up with a woman like me. I am loyal, sweet, smart, fun, witty, energetic, athletic, creative, flexible, AND pretty. All I want out of life is to have fun, and make a difference in people’s lives. You’re a fucking idiot. Good bye.