My gosh, would you please grow a set?
I am a half century old, so that makes you what? Older than dirt?
You want to weasle a date with my MOM? Good gosh man, call her up. Do not ask me about her status using a Facebook chat. It is plain creepy.
I do not want to chat with you on Facebook and I sure as hell do not want to talk about my mother’s social calendar. She is probably too busy with the grandchildren to have any interest in you.
(Oh and do not express your interest in getting laid to the Facebook community. That is just bad form.)