Dear Step Mom-
I even hate to refer to you as that…you’re just my dad’s new wife who tries too hard. Oh, and by the way, thanks for the wedding present. Don’t I already have that same black and white picture hanging in my living room? Did we really need your rendition of it in oil on canvas?? I don’t think so. You’re not an artist, you just like to pretend to be one so you can seem cool to others. Yeah, you’re annoying. Stop giving us presents that suck. Hey, for your birthday, I’m gonna try and find a big, oversized t-shirt with a fat person in a bikini. Seen those? I think you’d dig it.