• Better Off

    by  • March 24, 2010 • Breaking Up, Family Stuff, To You • 1 Comment

    Dear D (insert adjective here) Bag,

    I am beginning to think that my life would have been much better off without you in it for all those years. You made everything so much more stressful and complicated. Secret it out…you act more like a “little girl” than I do. You are the one with the constant PMSing and tantrums all the time. When you didn’t get your way, you whined and made little comments to make everyone bow down and please you. That is the worst part is that it took me so long to realize how screwed up you really are. You manipulated everyone to get what you wanted and put on a front of being so selfless. The thing is that everything was artificial when you were around because no one felt like they could let their guard down. You would always be there to nag or criticize them and tell them how you could do it better. Maybe sometimes you could, but you never gave anyone the chance to find out.

    I have never met someone who is so homophobic, racially, and sexually degrading and hateful. You always made it a priority to make little comments that were backhanded compliments. For your information, women can do more than you give them credit for and are smarter than you in general. Their job in life is not to just sit around and look beautiful as you might say. You are just too stuck in the past and have not realized that it is 2010 and things are different. It makes sense why you think that you are born in the wrong age and should have been born in the 1800’s. Sure maybe you would like to make your own home and provide for your family, but you forgot one very important part that drives this feeling. Back then, women were the way you want them to be, silent. Oh and other races were not allowed in your sight. To your delight, homosexuals were barely even known about because of the isolated houses. This is why you think you are born in the wrong age because you are a straight white supremacist! For your information, you hating all of these people is not going to change the color of their skin, their gender, or who they are attracted to. That is only one of the million of reasons I am glad you are gone. Now I can be free of your judging.

    Now let’s see there is also your issue with trying to buy people’s love. Where do I even start with that one? So here is what I think you devised your plan as. I can behave and say anything I want as long as I make up with buying them lots of nice things in return and building things for them. If you took the time to think about it, you would have realized that it was not a good strategy since none of our love languages were gifts. We all felt love through words, but you continued to try and love us through money. When you said and did terrible things to us, all you knew to do was buy flowers or help around the house, but none of that worked. All we wanted was a sincere apology.

    Moving on, there is also the issue of you being a dramatic girl on her period. I always felt tense around you because I feared that you would get mad about something that I did. You have no concept of patience or forgiveness. No one was allowed to make a mistake in your presence you little princess. You made my life so stressful. I am sorry that you don’t have a supportive family like mine, but that is partly your fault. You have pushed away all those that care for you and my sympathy decreases for you. Our family let you in, but once again you spent your energy doing things to push them away. I think you wanted to be loved by them and you were until you started pushing them away with your constant lies and degrading remarks. We let you in and all you did was criticize people behind their back to me especially. That was completely inappropriate and you should have known better! I never said anything about how much you complained about my family to protect them from that hurt. It just disgusts me that you could lie straight to their face about how you care for them, but then go trash them once they left. They all put up with your behavior out of respect for my mother, but hated the way you acted around them. You were childish and an embarrassment to be around and be associated with. I can’t even count the numerous tantrums you had. It is funny how I used to throw them, and you took over that job for me. The older I got, the younger you seemed to get, well at least in your behavior not your looks.

    You know what frustrates me the most is how much you put down my faith. I understand that you don’t hold the same views, but you could at least remain silent about your opinions and not criticize me just as I did for you. None of us ever forced our views on you; we merely offered to have you be a part of them by asking you to go to church and talking about our great experiences. You got upset when my mother was not free because of church. I am sorry that she is working on becoming a better person while you regress. You did not even have the decency to come to my sister’s ONE and ONLY baptism. When you finally came to church, you were disruptive the whole time and complained. My faith is what drives everything that I think, feel, and do, so when you talked it down, you were talking down the way I live my life. It was basically saying that you disapprove of my entire life.

    I think the worst part is that I have not even figured out how screwed up I am because of your influence on the way I think. So far I have seen that you have contributed to my distrust of men, made me believe that I can’t be loved permanently, taught me that anger is the answer to all my problems, and made me believe that I should never show weakness by showing my emotion and relying on others. You were basically my father for 13 years and thought it would be enough to send me an email to say goodbye after all that time. You were my father and just walked out on my life with an email knowing all of the abandonment issues I have already. I didn’t want you in my life at all, but you didn’t know that which makes this email hurt so much more. All of my relationships are screwed up because of you and I am eternally mad at you for that.

    It is going to take a lifetime to recover from this hurt and betrayal. Romans 12:20 says “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” I will continue to pray for your soul, that you find your way to Christ because He is the only one that can help you now. Also, I will pray that you learn to speak the truth and love other people the right way and figure out your drinking problem. You have lost everything in my opinion that was good in your life and there is no chance to get this part back.

    Once again, I am so happy that you are out of my life and our family is free to move on and get a fresh start moving closer to Christ with each step. Thank you for making it easy and breaking up with my mom who could not see who you really were and break it off before you. You should have been gone 10 years ago, but I will take now instead. The only thing I have to thank you for is for teaching me how not to treat others, live my life, and especially who not to marry.

    Get help,

    Freedom Writer

    One Response to Better Off

    1. Shirley
      March 24, 2010 at 5:40 pm

      That is THE best letter ever… on this site or any other place. Bravo! You go girl.

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