I wonder what it will be like when we see each other again.
We have been apart too long for my comfort, and I wonder if I will be able to stand up in the midst of it all.
How did I fail you? What did I not give you? How much have you been damaged by my absence?
Perhaps you grew stronger without me? You knew I would not be there and strengthened yourself? I can only hope.
Yes, I have ignored responsibilities, but never you. This week something quite funny happened. For years, I have agonized about a particular financial situation, one, incidentally, that was created about the same time you and I grew distant. I allowed myself to ignore this money problem for years. I spent long hours imagining the worst and hoping, against hope, that it might somehow resolve itself. It didn’t. I got, as they say, sick and tired of being sick and tired. Last week I twisted up the courage to deal with it, to face this terrific unknown. I had saved my money and prepared to pay, to pay big.
And guess what? It worked out in my favor.
Maybe this is a sign. Maybe you and I will work it out. I am more courageous now. I can face you. My heart is strong for you. Please let me into your life. Let me know you again. I am prepared to pay and pay big.