Are you retarded? Do you have Asbergers Syndrome? Do you have a secret desire to be hated? Do you, instead, hate me? Were you raised by the Amish, outside the bounds or normal society? Or, God Forbid, and shoot me now if it’s true…do you actually BELIEVE the Damned Chain Letters you send me on a weekly basis?
I ask you, HAVE the angels visited you? DID you suddenly get a delightful surprise not 3 hours after you sent that seemingly loving but actually threatening email to me? Have you benefited at all, any of the countless times you’ve sent one on? Anything? Anything at all? Did something magically happen to your email and that is why you (or someone) added the enticing sentence at the bottom, “you’ll love what is going to happen!”
Does any of your family still speak to you? Your friends? Your co-workers?
NOBODY wants to be threatened with doom on their email. NOBODY wants to have 4 years of bad luck if they don’t send it on. NOBODY wants to have to find 9 “ladies that you love” to have to send it on to. I wouldn’t send it to a woman I DON’T love let alone someone I want to invite me over to their home occasionally.
You’re also the one who believed that you might end up in a bathtub of ice with a note telling you to call 911 immediately because both of your kidneys had been removed.
You’re also the one who believes that every time you forward that Microsoft email Bill Gates himself will pay you a dollar.
Have you sent your bank information to the Nigerian fellow who just inherited a large sum of money?
Have you logged on to the Paypal site when they sent you an email asking to update your account?
Seriously, and this is in all honesty, cuz I am pretty superstitious…if you can PROVE or even STATE with reasonable certainty that ANY of this turned out positive, I might forward one on. But…last time I checked, I didn’t see an Oprah special about the paralyzed chick learning to walk 3 hours after sending an effing email.
If you believe any of what I have written, please forward it to the assholes who have been sending you these emails.