• The Real You

    by  • March 16, 2010 • The Ex, To You • 0 Comments

    I tell my friends I am not over you and they don’t believe me.

    “Are you stuck on stupid?” one asked.

    Personally, I am amazed at my own tolerance.

    What did I get from this failed relationship? It certainly wasn’t what you had to offer.

    Not that you hid yourself from me. You tried, and I am sure you did hide ugly parts of yourself, but the real you shone through.

    The real person always shines through.

    So what drew me? (Not the sex.)

    True confession: I was seeking redemption. I never intended to be divorced or to be cut off from my child, but it happened.

    Then came you. And like me, you were hoping that life had not passed you by.

    You are so needy, and I certainly could fill those needs, the more
    reasonable ones. I could have been a good husband, and I could have been a good step-father. I am kind, generous, and loyal. I could have lifted your standard of living a bit and put you in a better living arrangement.

    For a while, you and I might have been happy.

    But, like I just said, the real person always shines through.

    Ugh! I fear the real you – unstable and unsatisfied. Are your needs boundless? Is the chaos unending? Does the drama ever die?

    Or is it that you have never taken responsibility for yourself?

    You loathe men. No, you hate men. I am fairly sure of this. And yet you turn to them in every distress. Do you not see the problem?

    Or is it easier to blame men for your woes?

    Your lesson to me is this – needy people cannot be satisfied by my actions alone.

    Needy people are like leaky boats. Friends can bail them out, but the needy must plug their own leaks.

    Maybe we both need to realize is not about rescue by others, it is about self-change.

    Plug your leaks!

    Grow up.

    Quit believing the right man is the right answer.

    You know the well-worn phrase – Happiness is an inside job.

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