You make me want to claw my eyes out.
You scream into your phone. For every phone call. Are you hard of hearing? You don’t seem to be, as you often comment on my phone calls after I hang up.
You chew loudly. And you eat constantly. It’s a really horrible combination. I’m about to take that huge container of cashews in your drawer and… hmmm. No, that’s too nice. I’ll have to think of something worse.
So, my dear screaming nut muncher, I beg… I plead… for the love of God and all things humane – STOP!