I’m scared that all this good stuff is going to go away. I’m so scared of that happening that I’m not enjoying it now. So then I’m anxiety ridden that I’m not enjoying these things which then makes me scared. How do I let go and just be happy without the phone ringing and me assuming it’s death and disaster on the other end? I am so scared that something bad is going to happen to my family or another disaster is going to hit that I can’t be in the here and now and savor and enjoy myself. Even when I try I hear this little voice say, “This is all going to be a memory when something bad happens.” or, ‘You are unsuspecting now…and the fear and devastation will hit you harder when the call comes.” I’m tired of being scared…and the ironic thing is…I’m scared of not being scared.