• How am I supposed to feel right now?

    by  • March 6, 2010 • The Ex • 0 Comments

    You bullshit me daily about “depression” and feeling sad and lonely and all I see is a human being who is functioning fine without me. Damn, I’m sorry I had any wine today. It makes me yearn…but if you were here right now I can’t say that I’d rushing into your arms and burying my lips upon yours. More than likely I would look at you in irritation and bitterness. Wanting to scream at you, “How could you give up our family, you stupid fuck!” Because you really are a stupid fuck…or, maybe I am. I believed every God Damned thing you said…and I must be a certifiable nutbat. I mean, your words were empty. Day after day you would make these promises and tell me these things about your feelings and your love and your wants and desires…and I guess, most of all, about your SATISFACTION. You were SATISFIED with me. But hello! I wasn’t satisfied. And you know what??? I’m easily satisfied. I’m SO easy. I never pushed or pulled…and all of my snooping ended after the last time. I guess that was traded for suspicion and contempt. Instead of looking for the infidelities I was satisifed being convinced of your indescretions. But, screw it. A dick is easy to find. A talented dick a little more difficult. And a talented tongue that can make you forget a dick…almost impossible. But I have my new boyfriend that takes AA batteries and it’s just going to have to be good enough. Because you know what, it never fucks me over unless I want it to. I can’t tell you how attractive that is to me. I push the buttons (or lever) and I control my pleasure and my pain. You are gone. Your last fuck was fucked…so fuck you…never again.

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