Even though another birthday is nearing, you do not have my permission to start DROOPING.
Butt – quit jiggling so much when I walk. Remember the days when you used to calmly stay in place? Nice and firm and tight? Let’s give that a shot again.
Thighs – quit competing over which one of you can be bigger. Try competing over who can be smaller. Winner gets a prize.
Boobs – suck it up and DEAL. You should be perky and cute… and not pointing toward the floor.
Face – where the hell did all these lines come from? Don’t give me some song and dance about too much sun and booze and not enough sleep – I don’t believe all that crap and neither should you.
So, come on – let’s rally. Either that, or get better and walking your fat old ass into a bar so I can DRINK myself young.
You (and Me)