I just don’t understand. I try to conceal the feeling that I have for you, but somehow, you seem to know of them and repeatedly use them against me or flaunt them in front of me. At this point, I don’t quite know HOW I feel about you anymore…do I love you passionately, do I hate you for the happiness that you bring me by just being around, or do I just feel empty inside knowing that I will never have you for my own? You don’t have ANY idea of the extent to which I am infatuated with you. I wish that I could confront you, but I know and YOU know that I don’t have the strength within myself to do it. I just can’t show my heart to you like that…doing so would make me vulnerable.
When my father was drinking, I NEEDED to be the strong one for my siblings…that is how it has always been…and up until I met YOU, that is how I thought it would always BE. Now though, YOU are the strong one. YOU are the one to pick me up when I am down, to see through my ruse of happiness, to care for me like no other person has. YOU lift my spirits everyday just by listening, by speaking, by being around me, by being…you.