You are an amazing dad – and yes, that part, and many other things, I do tell you. But, there are many things I just don’t know how to communicate to you in a way that connects.
I wish you didn’t worry so much about where I will end up in the afterlife – I’m good, trust me. I wish you could see how talented you are at so many things, instead of thinking you aren’t anything special. I wish we knew how to have fun together one-on-one, naturally. I wish we were closer, but I also know that I have to learn that it can’t just be on my terms.
Sometimes your narrow-mindedness is so frustrating. I wish you could see the world with less judgement and more forgiveness. I do know though that you don’t judge anyone more harshly than you judge yourself.
I appreciate a lot of things about you: your work ethic, your sense of humor (I refuse to actually admit this to you), your love for your family, and the way your eyes light up when you see mom.
More than anything, this past year I learned what it might feel like to lose you – we came so close to that.
I’m grateful everyday that I have the opportunity to try harder, to be a better daughter – to appreciate you for both who you are, and who you are not. To appreciate you for the father, husband, brother, uncle, grandfather and great grandfather you are. Even more, to appreciate you for the man you are, minus all the titles and attachments.